Dirty Boss Daddy by S.E. Law
Josie catches my attention as she tiptoes over to my cubicle, and I shake my head ruefully. My buddy is anything but inconspicuous as she looks around the room with a big smile on her face. Then, she pushes some paperwork out of her way and perches on my desk with her legs crossed, her perfectly toned calves on full display. If confidence were a person, it would be named Josie Stills with her sassy ways and curvaceous bod. Meanwhile, my buddy shoots me a brilliant grin.
“So,” she nudges my thigh with her foot. “How’s the love life? Are you still doing the ba-dump-a-dump with Ronnie?”
My friend makes a face like she smells something rotten when saying Ronald’s name and I let out an involuntary snicker, only to immediately clamp down. Ronald’s my boyfriend! I shouldn’t be laughing at him, but then again, dating can be so ridiculous sometimes. Who knew that being a young woman in New York City was filled with such ups and downs when it comes to romance? I roll my eyes.
“Yes, I’m still with Ronald. You know he’s not nearly as bad as you make him out to be.”
Josie lets out an unladylike snort. “He is that bad and probably even worse. Honestly, Leslie, he is so lazy.”
I sigh. We’re all co-workers at the advertising firm Ligne NYC, so there’s no denying the truth.
“Yeah, I guess he can be a slacker sometimes,” I acknowledge.
Josie lets out another snort, louder now.
“Sometimes? More like all the time, girlfriend. I almost lost it after that last project we worked on with him. He sat around watching us do all the work while he played that new game that everyone’s got on their cell. What is it called? Animal Crossing or something? Yeah, I saw him picking out clothes for his avatar, and he dressed mini-Ronald in a blue cardigan with purple sneakers. Who does that? Even more, what guy chooses purple sneakers for his character?”
I smile indulgently.
“Yeah, but that’s hardly a crime.”
Josie just snorts for the third time.
“You’re right, but it gets worse, Les. Ronald played Animal Crossing for weeks, and then when it came time to present the project, he took all the credit! What the hell? I almost totally lost it in the conference room, and only just managed to keep my professional cool.”
I swallow hard, feeling a heaviness in my chest. Everything Josie is saying about my boyfriend is true, and I know it. Ronald’s not exactly Mr. Inspirational, so it’s not surprising to hear about his selfish ways. But he does have some good qualities, so it’s a mixed bag. I try to make excuses.
“I know Ronald isn’t winning any coworker of the month awards, but he’s a good boyfriend.”
Josie throws her curls over one shoulder and pins me with a look. “How? Please, by all means, share. And I want all the details.”
“Even you have to admit he’s handsome. With that black hair and blue eyes? He looks like Superman, don’t you think? A tiny bit?”
Josie shakes her head furiously. “No, because Superman is buff and athletic. Superman flies through the air and fights evil villains. Ronald, on the other hand, is pasty and skinny from sitting in front of a monitor all day and reminds me of a wet noodle.”
“Yes, but he’s trying to work out more,” I say quickly. “You know, lifting weights and hitting the gym.”
Josie pins me with another look.
“Ronald looks nothing like Superman, Les, and you know it. But honestly, he could be decent in the looks department if he didn’t have that awful sneer on his face all the time. Honestly, for a guy who does nothing and still collects a paycheck, I don’t understand why he walks around with such an ugly look on his face.”
I bite my lip.
“I guess I haven’t noticed.” Of course, that’s a lie because I’ve noticed. Everyone’s noticed. But when we started dating, I decided Ronald’s expression wasn’t a dealbreaker because of other mitigating factors.
“Ronald is still handsome to me,” I say bravely. “You know how it goes, Josie. He’s a good-looking guy, and I’m lucky to have him. Look at me! I’m lucky I’m not dating Dan from Accounting with my extra curves.”
After all, I’m a bigger woman with plenty of junk in the trunk. Yes, I have large breasts, but it’s also accompanied by dimpled thighs and a not-so-narrow waist. Meanwhile, Dan from Accounting is a portly middle-aged man with tiny, rimless glasses, and a big belly that bulges against his button-downs. We’d look like Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head standing next to each other, which makes my heart sink.
Josie’s eyes bug out. “You’re kidding right? You’re beautiful, Les, and I hate when you talk down to yourself. But honestly? Dan from Accounting would probably be better for you than Ronald. At least Dan is nice and competent at his job. Heck, he probably lets other people take credit for his work instead of hogging all the credit for himself.”
I feel ashamed suddenly.
“Well, I’m dating Ronald, so it is what it is,” I mumble. Josie takes pity on me, and leans down before speaking in a hushed voice.
“Listen, it’s fine girlfriend. You date whomever you like. But there’s a secret to this, right? Let me guess: Ronald’s a beast in bed, isn’t he?”
I jerk my head up and stare at her with wide eyes. “What?”
My pretty friend smirks. “It’s the only explanation, girlfriend, because why else would you be with him? He must be huge right? And he knows how to wield that tool?”
I start laughing because again, dating in NYC is so ridiculous.
“Ronald’s pretty good,” I admit. “I’m not sure I’d call him a beast, but he’s okay between the sheets.” But then, our date last night comes flooding into my mind and I frown. Josie shoots me a look.
“Just okay? Are you serious?”
“Well, yeah. I mean, I know I should be grateful to be with Ronald, it’s just that …”
Josie pins me with another stare.
“Out with it, girlfriend. What is it? He didn’t want to use protection? He had a case of ED?”
I wave my hands and laugh.
“No, no, it’s just that last night Ronald talked me into doing something I’m not used to, and now I’m kind of regretting it.”
A sly smile crosses Josie’s face and she leans in even closer.
“Oooh, this sounds promising. Did he tie you up? Spank you a few times? This sounds good,” she says, rubbing her hands together.
I stare at her.
“What?” I shake my head. “No no, nothing like that.” Biting my lip, I take a moment to work up the nerve to admit what happened. “I let Ronald talk me into taking a few naked photos. I don’t even know why he wanted to do it, but he begged and pleaded, and finally I said yes. I don’t know, should I have? Ugh, my gut is telling me no.”
Josie gasps with outrage, her eyes going big.
“What a bastard! I can’t believe he forced you to take explicit pictures! That is so wrong! I knew this guy was a bastard.”
I wave my hands in front of my face quickly.
“No no no! It wasn’t like that. Ronald didn’t force me at all. I agreed to it, I’m just having second thoughts in the bright light of day.”
Josie crosses her arms and squints her eyes at me.
“Are you sure you aren’t just trying to cover for him? Because if he pressured you, that’s forcing, you know.”
I shake my head, my brown curls bouncing emphatically.
“I promise, he didn’t force me. I agreed to take the snaps. But now that I’ve had more time to think about it, I’m not so sure it was a smart thing to do. I mean, it sounds like a bad idea now. I’m sensitive enough as is about my weight, so to have those photos on his phone …”
Josie puts her hand on mine and gives it a reassuring squeeze.
“Oh, is that all? Don’t worry, girlfriend. Ronald might not be my favorite, but you guys have been dating a while now, and I’m sure if you just tell him how you feel and ask him to delete the photos, he will.”
“You think so?”
“Oh yeah. I was afraid you thought he was going to sell them or post them on-line or something. But if it’s just your body insecurities cropping up, just ask Ronald to delete. It’s no big deal.”
I take a big breath. “You’re right. I’ll talk to him after work, and it is my body insecurities getting to me, but I’m working on it, I swear.”
Josie hops off my desk and fixes her skirt.
“Yeah, but I kind of don’t get it, Leslie. You’re beautiful, girl! You don’t need to worry about a thing when it comes to looks!”
I smile, feeling better already.
“Thanks Josie. I really appreciate it.”
She tosses her hair over one shoulder before sauntering away.
“And if you need to chat, I’m always here, a mere twenty feet away in my cubicle. But we better get back to work because I’d hate for someone to think we’re slackers like your boyfriend.” She winks and we both laugh. “Just kidding … not.”
I giggle as my buddy disappears because Josie’s right. It’s just my brain getting ahead of me, and I need to clamp down on my anxieties because Ronald would never betray me with those naughty pics. My boyfriend may be immature and selfish, but he’s a good guy, deep down at least.
Meanwhile, I turn back to my desk and stare at my computer monitor with determination. This work isn’t going to get down on its own, and now, it’s time to focus and move forward.